Archive for August, 2006
Tuesday, August 29th, 2006
explosm.net
Sunday, August 27th, 2006
the aftershock event
So I have always been a fan of hard alcohol, and never one to back down from a dare. My senior year of college my friends decided it would be a good idea to destroy me before I moved back to California. Here is the night, next morning in full, unedited hilarity. I can’t make this shit up.
Friday 2:30p in class: Friend 1 leans over and mentions a party a few friends are having to celebrate classes ending. They mention some hard alcohol called ‘Aftershock‘ and having a race to see who can drink the most. I think ‘awesome.’ and tell him I’m down (i should have taken the hint when he tells me its $20 bucks to come).
Friday 5p back at my house: Friend 1 and Friend 2 call me each within a 5 minute span and make sure I’m still coming. They ask me to bring a lady friend for the fun, and all I could think of was the lesbian I knew and of course BJ. This would end up bad because BJ would probably outdrink me and inevitably make me look like the big pussy. And well, if I was going to get drunk I couldnt end up fucking the lesbian. I tell him ‘I’ll see what I can do’.
Friday 6p still at my house: I can’t seem to find anyone online or answering their phones. What the fuck, since when do my friends not answer the phone? Finally, I get ahold of Nightgown and convince her to accompany me to this party. She agrees, but explains she can’t stay long, and will meet me there instead of riding with me. That’s fine, I’ll just get really hammered and end up with my cock in her mouth.
Friday 10p at Friend 1’s house: I show up just to find about 10 people at his place, all pretty much pre-gamed and limber. Nice, thanks for starting the party without me douchebags. I find Nightgown, already talking to Friend 2 (which is apparently dateless) and walk over.
‘Hey bro, whats up? Where is your date?’
‘She ended up not coming, couldn’t get out from dinner with her parents’
‘Oh, sucks. 10pm and she’s out with her parents? Seems like she’s cockblocking you’
‘Yea maybe’
(ok, assfuck get away from my cum-dumpster.)
I head over to the kitchen to find about 10 bottles of this red, cough sryup looking liquid with crystals in it. Oh great, and that shit is going in me? It smells like cinnamon and tastes like it too. Not that hard to drink, I chase it with Dr. Pepper (which is probably a bad idea). By 10:30 we’re doing full glasses of this shit every hour or so.
Friday 11pm, still at Friend 1’s house: I am full on shit-tanked right now, I can barely stand. I haven’t given my $20 bucks yet, and have a full pocket of cash. I hear one guy yell out to the 10 of us from Friend 1’s basement. ‘Hey, he’s got a poker table down here. Lets play poker’. Oh great, yea I’ve only played Texas hold’em on partypoker.com and watched a few shows of Celebrity Poker Showdown, and now you fuckfaces want to steal my college-job earnings? Fuck you, of course you do. We all sit down and play a few hands, I’m doing quite moderate, which in Texas Hold’em.. as long as you’re keeping your money, thats fine. I look over to see Nightgown sitting on Friend 2’s lap, both drinking and flirting at the table. This pisses me off and I decide to get some attention, I yell out ‘Lets go motherfuckers, 5 bucks each hand!’. Thinking I can either make some cash or just continue getting shit-tanked, I fight my way through a few hands that sends a few people away from the table.
Saturday 12:30am, downstairs at poker table: I’ve got about 30 bucks in my pocket now, the table situation looks like this: Friend 1 pretending to be a poker champ, not drinking that much sitting next to 2 hot as fuck girls from U-Mass Amherst. Followed by another assclown that came with Friend 2 (guess they hang in packs), who is pretty fucked up like myself. All of us playing still, Nightgown is nowhere to be found, along with Friend 2. Presumably getting fucked in the ass in some bedroom. This pisses me off, and I decide to close the gap and get back to drinking. I start raising each hand I get, even if I had nothing. This pisses off Friend 2’s douchebag boytoy, he folds after going all in on a hand. I take his cash and casually flash that I had 2-3 unsuited. He storms off upstairs.
I yell ‘Come back anytime, your money is always welcome in my pocket, hey go find out where my slut of a date is.’
After this, the two hot chicks are out of cash in a few hands and they head upstairs too, this leaves me with Friend 1, going hand for hand. Nothing really that exciting, except for the fact I notice we’ve gone through 2 bottles of aftershock since I’ve been there and I have officially lost control of my legs. Great, I’m losing money and now I’m cripple in someone’s basement in a house I’ve never been to.
At 1:30 I have officially lost all of my money to Friend 1, and don’t feel like playing fuck me poker anymore. I head back upstairs to this scene, 2 hot girls passed out on couch, next to friend 2’s friend watching re-run episodes of 24. Cups of alcohol all over the place. Nightgown and Friend 2 nowhere to be found, all bedroom doors open except for Friend 1’s room, and a bathroom door (the only bathroom in the house, wait for punchline later). I hear faint sounds of a headboard smashing into a wall and figure out that Nightgown is getting slammed by Friend 2, what a douchebag. Just then, the door to the bathroom opens and Friend 1 looks worried. He quickly shuts the door and looks through a utility closet, I come up after pouring myself another cup of this death brew and ask him where Nightgown and Friend 2 were. He laughs and says they’re beating the shit out of his bed. I get pissed off after he proves my thoughts, smash my fist on the bedroom door and scream ‘I know you’re in there fuckers, and I know what you’re doing!’
At this point, I could give two fucks less, I focus on one of the hot chicks that’s apparently up and focused in on 24 now. I start to spit my A game at her.
‘Hey, whats your name?’
‘Taylor, you’re Dave right?’
‘Yea, my date is in there getting her shit pushed in’
‘She’s a dirty skank’
I like this girl.
2:00am upstairs and on the couch: my stomach really starts to hurt, I don’t know if its gas, I have to shit, or just the amount of this fucking cinnamon flavored death drink i’ve had in a 4 hour period, I feel like I could breathe fire. Nightgown has either fallen asleep in the room with Friend 2, or snuck out the window and left. I make my way to the bathroom to clear out whatever is in my intestinal pathway, swing the door open just to find the toilet flowing around nearly coming out of the bowl with floating, bloated shits and disgusting water. Great, the fucking toilet is jammed with Friend 1’s massive pringles can shits, and I feel sick. I stomach whatever I can, and head back to the couch to get Hot Girl 1 another drink.
2:30am still on the couch, wincing in pain: Okay my fucking stomach is really hurting, I’m starting to shit my pants, still drinking and flirting with Hot Girl 1 (farting out every gas/shit fart the enters my anal column), her friend is passed out. I contemplate going out behind my car and shitting in a bush. It doesn’t feel like a small shit either, this feels like its going to explode the second it leaves my rectum.
Awesome
I decide to hold it in, and atleast try to get through the night, I want this girl’s number. Note: I don’t remember the rest of this night, I have quite possibly blacked out at this point. I will just pickup what happened the next morning.
8:00am, Friend 1’s bathroom floor: I wake up clutching my stomach, laying on the floor of his bathroom feeling like a dirty, used diaper (probably smelling like it too). I can barely see anything, my back is killing me, my hair is totally fucked up, and I have a buldge at the back of my pants. I think to myself, and oh my fucking christ, it hits me.
I have shit my pants.
I quickly grab everything in my close vicinity, struggle to get up and walk back to my car. As I leave the bathroom I notice Friend 1’s bedroom door is open, and he is passed out on his bed. Hot Girl 1 and 2 are on the couches in the living room. Friend 2 is passed out in a sofa chair, and Friend 2’s friend has his hand still down Hot Girl 1’s pants, everyone is passed out. I find my keys and notice I’m still drunk, and I’ve got a saturday class in 2 hours. There are bottles and cups of aftershock all over the place.
Fuck, my head hurts and I’ve got shit in the back of my jeans.
After Story:
I have never touched aftershock, or any other stupidly named hard alcohol since then. I did finally talk to Hot Girl 1, and found out that Friend 2’s douchebag friend was her ex boyfriend from high school. She and I are currently friends, and drank alot together before I left (stories to come). Incase you were wondering, Nightgown and Friend 2 did end up fucking that night, Friend 1 found a used condom on his dresser. I threw my boxers, and jeans away.
Thursday, August 24th, 2006
Rollercoaster Tycoon
Wow, How much of a tool am I? I’m sitting here waiting on my CoH to update and patch, and I get the need to play Rollercoaster Tycoon. Yea, you remember that game? The one where you build the theme park and make everyone throw up. I finally find the cd of it, hidden away in my closet, and low and behold..
“Designed for Microsoft Windows 95/98 Only'’
Fuck me running.
After installing the game anyways, I try to get it running in program compatability mode (windows98), only to find that my latest version of DirectX totally fubar’s the game. It’s like ‘what is this new technology? where is 6.0? WHAT IS 9.0!?!!?!’
Now I’m just sitting here waiting for 2 hours of updates. God damn you boredom.
Sunday, August 20th, 2006
Constantine
What an awesome movie. The plot and story are great, just if Keanu Reeves wasnt the main role..it would be better. I think his role would be better served having Robert DeNiro or Michael Douglas.
Sunday, August 20th, 2006
Crossfire with Jon Stewart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmZkw169xEI
Sunday, August 20th, 2006
Snakes on a Plane?
What the hell, where to begin?
I recently saw this movie with a few co-workers on Friday afternoon and I have to say, if it wasn’t hyped as much as it was… the movie would have sucked. It’s amazing the amount of fanbase this flick generated, from wiki’s to blogs, and even people’s youtubes.
I have to say, I wasnt totally impressed with the movie, but I didnt have high expectations for it either. I would have preferred if there were more background info, how did the snakes get onto the plane? What happens to the chinese druglord? etc etc
Things I liked:
Snake-O-Vision
Samuel Jackson’s badass role
Things I didn’t like:
Snakes were obviously computer generated in most scenes, and in others you could tell people were wrestling with rubber snakes.
The ‘’gore'’ factor, if I wanted to watch a horror film, i’d watch one. This movie tried to get the scare factor in, when it wasn’t needed for the plot.
Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
my view on lebanon.
with all this bullshit war tactics going on between Israel and Lebanon, I figured I would give my opinion on what really matters. Lebanon and Iran families have yet to clearly see what this is all going to mean to their children in 20 years. Lebanese children are returning to their burned out and bomb-shelled houses with the only understanding of ‘Isreal caused this’. This means in 20 years those small children are going to grow up and hate Isreal just as their parents have, they’re going to turn into head-cutting-arabs.
It’s amazing that any country can side with Lebanon in this battle, Isreal is only doing what it can to protect its people from Hezbollah Terrorist attacks. They have been retaliating for what the last 20 years has proven. Lebanon and Iran would be happy if Isreal would cease to exist. So the Isreal Defense Forces (IDF) killed over 800 Lebanese, caused over 8 billion dollars worth of damage, set Lebanon economically back 20-25 years. So what. What the news reports don’t bring up is the fact that over the last 20 years the Hezbollah and other Lebanese terrorist organizations have murdered tens of thousands of Isreali families. What Isreal is doing is justice and retaliation for what it believes is right.
For information, this is what Wikipedia defines Hezbollah:
The Hezbollah[1] (Arabic: حزب الله ḥizbu-llāh,[2] meaning “party of God”) is a Shia Islamist organization in Lebanon comprising a militia, a political party, and an extensive program of social development.[3] Formed in 1982 to fight the incipient occupation by Israel,[3] it originally sought also to bring Islamic Revolution to Lebanon;[4] the party also dreamt of transforming Lebanon’s multi-confessional state into an Iranian-style Islamic state. Although this idea was abandoned and the party today is a well-structured political organisation with members of parliament. [5]
The current Secretary-General of Hezbollah is Sheikh Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah, who has held the office since 1992.
Exactly that, an Iranian/Lebanese Terrorist organization with political party powers over their government. That would be the same if the United states addressed ecenomic concerns with Theodore “Ted” Kaczynski (better known as the unibomber). Why have a known terrorist organization run your government?
I find it funny that CNN reported today that Iran had been supplying Hezbollah with rockets and munitions during the Israel/Lebanon battle. I wish I would have paid more attention this morning as they interviewed an Iran official that wouldnt directly answer if his country was providing Hezbollah with Katushya rockets, but would further argue that Americans were arming Isreal.
Interesting read:
http://www.ncr-iran.org/content/view/2095/71/
Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
new goals this year, lose about 60lbs and teach myself russian.
Sunday, August 13th, 2006
so lets see, i really had not posted in awhile since my wordpress database was all fubar. I was getting send referrer errors when writing a post, and just gave up after awhile. I have moved into the new place in Sherman Oaks, we’ve been here for about a month if not more now. The house is nuts, I hate it. There are so many things wrong with this property, and the whole confusion of moving just makes it even worse.
Things at work are good, Jaime left, that kinda sucks. It seems like all the good people are leaving, I don’t know. I think it’s time for me to start looking for a new job too.
Like I said earlier when I made the post about City of Heroes, I hit level 50 on my Scrapper. In 3 weeks time I have made a peacebringer and leveled him to 30. I started playing City of Villains as well, and have a Thug/Dark Mastermind thats level 15.
Not much else to really update, my life is boring and uneventful.
Sunday, August 13th, 2006
this is just a test after upgrading to the new version of wordpress